We love attention. We need attention. We want attention. But why?
We — humans, have four key drivers which are food, shelter, sex, and attention. There is no need to discuss the first three drivers. They are just obviously important. For me, the last one is the most interesting because it is dynamic. It is intangible. It is vague.
And we all love ATTENTION!!!
When we do not have to worry about what to eat tomorrow, where to sleep tonight… we would ask for attention or a lot of attention. Normally, humans are rational to a certain extent. Unfortunately, the need for attention can make us insanely irrational.
WHY?
Because we love to get attention from people but we do not want to communicate about that. We love to get attention naturally. You do not want to start a conversation about your new hairstyle yourself. You expect it to start from a friend of yours naturally. However, without a clear message, people would not be able to find out what you want, what you have in your mind, and therefore, they may not say things or do things in the way you expected. And to get yourself out of the disappointment that you created for yourself, you decide to get attention from people by all means including acting weirdly and stupidly to get attention.
Because we do not know anything about ourselves. We want all the confirmations for our good quality traits. You will be so happy if everyone at the party talks about you positively — how nice you are, how good you are, how kind you are, how smart you are, how thoughtful you are… If you do not know about yourself, you need all the confirmations from others to convince yourself that you are an amazing person.
WHAT SHOULD WE DO?
Acknowledging that we need attention is vital for us to stay happy. Obviously, there is nothing wrong with the fact that we love attention. It is our nature to ask for attention when our basic needs are met.
When you know that you need attention. The very first person you should get attention from is YOURSELF. In other words, you have to pay attention to yourself. Physically and mentally.
If you — yourself — do not know how to pay attention to yourself to understand yourself, to know about yourself then how can you expect others to pay attention to yourself.
Once you pay attention to yourself, you will find out that you do not need extra attention from externals.
If you know your good qualities, your great personality traits, you do not need confirmations from others.
If you know what you are looking for in life, you do not need that little extra attention from others to be happier.
Once you pay attention to yourself, you will find out that NOW instead of asking for attention from people, you can actually offer people your attention. Acknowledge what is happening around you. Acknowledge your beloved one’s presence. Be there for them, support them.
START NOW, RIGHT NOW.
Once again, you should start right now by paying attention to yourself. Physically and mentally.
Acknowledging that you need attention. Stop asking for attention from others.
Start offering yourself a sufficient amount of attention to know yourself. To be comfortable with yourself and by yourself.
